16 December 2012

I'm still here, and I miss this blog so much.

Tak tau nak start cerita apa. Too many things to tell. To little time.

Padahal bukan aku kerja pun. Dah full time housewife. But daily, penuh dgn activities. Sampai malam, I would be so exhausted.

We have  moved to Shah Alam. Technically dah tidur sini since last Sunday. But brg2 masih banyak kat Melawati. Daily, we would go back there (Melawati), pack, kemas and patah balik Shah Alam.

Kat Melawati, kena pack and kemas.

Balik Shah Alam, kena unpack and kemas.


Ni pun banyak tak ber pack-unpack-kemas.


Tired? Tak payah nak cerita. Dgn aku skarang down with flu, sakit tekak and cough. Malam2, asthma attack makin teruk sampai tak boleh tidur.

But housewife mana ada MC. :)


And, lately emosi aku tak stabil semacam. No, I am not pregnant. I wish  aku pregnant tho, so that I would have a reason on the mood swing.

Tapi I dont have any.


Sometimes I cry alone in the bathroom. Sometimes tgh lipat baju aku nangis. Sometimes aku nak marah. Most of the times I just like to keep quiet and keep my thoughts to myself.


Someone once told me. Bila dah jadi housewife ni, there are times yang we don't even know our self. I didn't understand her that time.

Now, I totally get her lah.

No, aku bukan regret my decision. Nothing like that.


Cuma aku anggap whatever that we decide, mesti ada pros and cons, mesti ada cabaran.


There are times that I feel so lonely. There are times yang aku rasa depressed sangat. Ada masa yang everything ok je but I just feel like crying.

Mood swing like crazy that I almost went to the pharmacy and buy pregnancy test kit. Haha.


Last time I update this blog was like a week ago. Gila lama tak bukak blog. Baca blog orang pun tak dek. Asal nak bukak henfon baca blog je mesti bateri habis. :(


Rindu nak bercerita like I used to.


Well I guess benda ni takes time to adapt. Just gotta hang on tight.


Yang best ada blog ni, I can revisit my old post and remind myself why did I do this and that. Jadi kenangan. Jadi pengajaran. Jadi tempat luahan hati.





Keluar rumah pun aku kekdg malas mekap. Lantak lah. 


I miss my friends lah. Sometimes I feel I am slowly detaching myself from you all. Bukan sengaja. Sometimes apa yg orang dok borak aku tak leh masuk. Other times maybe I am too busy doing I dono what.


Ni dah pukul 1 pagi. Esok konfem kepala aku ting tong. Tapi tak kira aku nak jugak merepek kat  blog.





Ni view from rumah baru aku. Hazy sikit. Tapi actually boleh nampak Masjid Shah Alam. Azan pun boleh dengar (from nearby surau lah.. bukan from the masjid).


Nanti cerita detail on pindah and rumah baru later la ye.. sebelum kepala aku lebih ting tong baik la kita masuk tidur.


Bye.




7 comments:

blu4sky said...

Salam CPK,

sabar cpk..you're in transition period..remember when in one of my comment abt being maidless..there were times i was behaving like what happened to u right now..too many things to do and 24 hrs is not enuf..penat + banyak benda fikir + banyak benda x settle = unstable emotion + constant asthma attack..sama kan mcm you kena..lucikly my asthma x teruk tp semput juga lah
and after 6 months thing baru ok sket but masih byk nak kena adjust here and there..
Take it slowly..give ur self some time to adjust same goes to your family..tapi sbb we are the wife..we feel the pressure more sbb kita rasa everything is tabggungjawab kita..when things do not go as our plan tu yg frust and buat kita stress..
These are some tips that given to me when i first maidless..
1. Outsource benda2 yg kita x sempat nak buat for a temporary period..ie: ironing and washing and folding..htr dobi buat sementara waktu
2. Pasar malam and bungkus kena add in sbb ada masa mmg membantu sbb masa yg ada tu kita boleh buat benda lain
3. Get your family to help you..klu x buat keje rumah at least x tolong sepah..
When you hv pick up the phase, insya allah things will fall back in place..jgn lupa zikir byk2

Haiyo sdh pjg ini comment..take care and take a break, have a kitkat :)

Konot said...

Babe thank you so.much. So normal la APA yg I.am going thru ni eh.. thks for understanding and thks for the tips. hugs!!

Unaizah said...

I feel you dear. Cuma housewife je yg faham. Kadang-kadang tu terfikir nape la aku stress tak tentu pasal. Sabar ye.

Konot said...

Thks unaizah.. rightnow it helps just knowing that people understand our feelings..

Norlida Mohd Nor said...

Babe,

Take it easy.... Biasa laa kalo kadang2 cam nak meroyan. Rasa cam semua burden ko nk tanggung.... Keja x siap as what we planned..... Tuh aku dah biasa rasa...... Even keja pun aku still rasa serba salah..... Sabar sabar kay.... Bila rasa nak nangis.... Ko nangis ajer...... Sbb lepas tuh ko rasa lega kan? I have one suggestion..... Bila free time, ko tengok laa movie sedih..... Then ko nangis puas2..... Hah lega lepas tuh..... Soo x yah laa nak nangis tak tentu arah. Nanti kan anak2 heran plak.... And please jangan cuba nak jadik too perfect.... Maksud aku.... buat setakat yg mampu ajer..... Kalo penat...letih....x sihat..... tukar plan B. Buat mana yg penting ajer..... Hey housewife pun kena rest jugak k.... Gi laa minum or lepak kat kedai mamak ngan anak2...... Itu laa rutin yg aku selalu wat masa jadik housewife..... Bukan nak makan pun.... Tapi takde laa ko asyik duk rumah ajer.... Kena laa bersosial gak kay.... Pasal kawan2 tuh.....jgn laa ko sendiri set barrier..... Bila free, ko chit chat and contact kawan2..... Cerita itu ini so ko takde laa rasa sunyi......

Jangan risau feeling nih tak lama.... Sebab dulu kita keja....so terasa laa lonely skitt.... Sbb x tak perlu tempuh traffic jammed or berebut naik tren...... Hihihihi mesti ko rindu kan kadang2 dh x sebusy camtu? Rileks..... Cheer up..... Mungkin agak terkezut skitt utk ko..... Sebab ko pernah ada MAID and before tis, mmg semua MAID ko wat..... Takpe TRUST me, ko akan biasa dan akan rasa seronok!!!!

Sooo enjoy, jangan tension kay......

blu4sky said...

salam CPK,

i agreed with what norlida said.. bila dah takde bibik, i thot that i can do it myself..macam masa anak baru sorang..i managed everything all by myself.. so i put to high expectation.. bila things tak jadi as plan..tu yang stress.. now when i dah dapat the rythme.. i buat apa apa yang mampu.. kalau tak sempat, i buat besok-besok..and since you pun baru pindah, banyak benda yang perlu settle kan..like i said..kain baju tu boleh lah outsource ke dobi buat sementara waktu..
give yourself some time..kalau penat sangat..go and treat youself with an ice cream ke apa ke..
balik baru sambung balik :)

mrs shiman said...

hang in there liana...maybe its just a transitional period - cam detox la.

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