dengar la ceritaku...

sangat tragis okeh. so this is what happened.

semlm aku pegi interview dgn this one company. second interview dah pun. first one went well. second interview ni with the MD and the CIO. so aku agak berharap la, high chances nak dpt.. kan?

well as u know banking industry ni mmg kecik. pi mai pi mai, org tu jugak yg kita jumpa. apparently, the MD ni is my ofismate punya kawan dulu. kawan aku dah warning, this MD is very serious. strict. garang.

berdebau la hati akak kan...

sampai sana, tgh dok tunggu, aku nampak this MD walking kuar lif, masuk interview room. he saw me, i smiled, tapi dia buat dek and terus masuk.

bertambah la berdebau hati hakuuuuuu...

then the CIO panggil aku masuk. CIO ni pun kawan kepada my other ofismate. hensem ya amat. like sangat hensem. hauhauhauha.. sib baik blog aku private dik non oiiiiiiii!! eh lari topic pulak.. :p

CIO is ok. well at least adalah senyum jugak kan. greeted me. yg MD ni. aku masuk je, tak de huuu.. tak de haaa... terus cakap kat aku.. "SIT"

mother grandfather! masa ni mmg aku dah start panic attack. jantung aku mcm nak terkeluar!! and this was when the nightmare begins..

aku perasan.. i think la.. the CIO pun mcm sikit nervous. pasal the situation was so blardy formal. ko imagine. tak de senyum langsung. muka mcm nak pegi perang.. boleh?

so bila diorang tanya soklan, even yg simple2, aku jadik blank. aku jadi panic. aku jadi mcm nervous and menggelabah tahap dewa. masa ni la aku nampak mcm aku ni bodo and tak tahu apa2. i bet, they must be wondering apesal aku boleh lepas 1st interview.

kesimpulannya,
aku nampak mcm org BODO.
aku nampak mcm org TERENCAT.
aku nampak mcm fresh grad yang sgt nervous mcm 1st time interview.

sudahnyer,
interview was very short. tak sampai setengah jam. i am pretty sure aku tak dpt. heck.. kalau aku jadik MD tu pun aku tanak hire org mcm aku. menceceh ntah apa kat dlm tu. tak de point langsung.

my point is.. aku sedih. and aku sedih, bukan pasal aku tak dapat kerja tu. dah byk kali pun pegi interview aku kena reject, aku tak kisah and aku terima ni bukan rezeki. but aku sedih, pasal i did not do my best during the interview.

there are so much things to tell. i feel that i suit with the job. mmg aku suka sgt masa 1st interview tu, aku rasa mmg i can do it. so many things that i feel i am capable of. but, bila aku terkedu and panic mcm tu, they (MD and CIO) did not see my true self. they are unable to see my capabilities.

tu yg aku sedih. pasal aku rasa aku fail when i havent give out my best. other interviews, i feel that i did my best and bila tak dpt, aku anggap mmg tak de rezeki, maybe job scope tak sesuai ke.. etc.

i even cried masa balik. aku tatau kenapa aku emo sgt over this matter.

i tried many ways nak menyedapkan hati. tempat tu jauh la. maybe boss garang la. tak berkesan beb.. tak de effect.

sigh.

part emo2 ni mmg susah nak tolong kan?