the kids masih tidur masa aku bersiap2 nak pegi keje. so as usual aku akan angkat sofeya turun bawah and let her sleep kat hall, maid aku boleh tgk2 sambil buat keje. lepas letak sofeya (dgn penuh berhati2 sbb tak nak kasik dia jaga) aku pun terus naik atas balik and pakai tudung.
then aku dgr sofeya jaga and jerit2 "mama!!! nak mama!! nak mama!!"
then silence.
and i know my maid dah ambik dia and pujuk2.
by the time aku turun bawah, maid aku dah bawah dia masuk dapur, so sofeya takkan nampak aku nak pegi keje.
i wanted soooo much to pegi dapur to hug and kiss her and tell her that im here. mummy is here.
but i can't. cause i'll only be with her for like 1 minute, then i gtg to work. to a 2 year old, 1 minute is not enough. you'll make it worse sbb elok2 dia dah okay, nampak je aku nanti she will start melalak again.
so aku tahankan jer.. :( aku terus ambik kunci kereta and keluar pegi keje, without kissing my baby good bye.
i wanted so much nak spend more time lagi dgn dia, afterall while i still can kan.. esok2 dah start keje baru mmg sah2 i hv to go to work earlier. but again.. she has to learn. nanti pagi2 dah tak boleh golek lama2 dah. oh well.. i have to learn also... :(
balqis is okay.. well, dulu2 masa dia kecik pun 2 x 5 jugak.. bangun pagi nangis cari aku. now dah nak masuk 8 tahun, dia dah start paham that aku kena pegi keje. but sometimes she talks to me, she tells me that sebenarnya dia tak suka bila berjauhan dgn aku. kalau boleh dia nak aku duduk rumah. :(
tapi dah kira boleh diplomasi la budak ni. tak payah la aku nak terkejar curi2 keluar, which i hate so much to do.
sigh.
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