29 September 2009

Now here’s the thing.


Ye lah as some of you may have guessed, aku mmg nak sgt la berenti keje. Mmg la dok rumah 24/7 mengadap membelek anak2 tu adalah kerjaya idaman saya. Selepas almost 10 yrs slaving myself to the corporate world, perasaan nak berenti keje tu makin lama makin membuak2, menggebu2.

But before aku membebel further, let me clarify that ini baru planning stage, aku blum ader concrete decision.

Every morning aku bangun nampak anak2, I hate myself coz I have to leave them to the maid, missing the precious moments yg aku sepatutnya spent dgn diorang.


I know some if you may disagree, especially yg dah mmg jadi housewife. Adik ipar aku sendiri, dulu elok2 housewife, pas tu menggelupur nak nak keje, aku cakap toksah keje, do something from home jer. Tapi noooo, dia nak jugak.. skang ni dah keje, dok komplen plak sibuk, stress, baik la dok umah.


TOLD YA! Hehehheeh jgn marah wahai adik ipar ku


So aku dok pk la all these while kenapa lah aku nak sgt2 berenti keje jaga anak, these are the reasons.


NUMBER ONE
First and the main reason (main like 80% of the factor), aku nak jaga anak2 sendiri. Nak diorang membesar depan mata. Nak diorang makan masakan aku. Nak mandikan diorang everyday. Nak tgk each and every milestone. Nak teach them new things everyday myself.


Dgn balqis dulu.. aku balik keje.. maid tunjuk aku “tgk la..balqis dah pandai cakap 1,2,3 sampai 10”


Sofeya ni pun.. maid yg byk ajar dia..tunjuk mata cantik la.. panggil meow la.. itu ini.


Sedih tak bila org gaji yg ajar anak benda2 gitu?


Pas tu, aku observe, anak2 yg membesar dgn mak diorang kat rumah, will grow up to be very obedient, polite, sayang and ingat mak bapak, well behaved. Example? Byk lah example aku tgk. Anak2 kak ani one of them. Mmg aku salute tgk perangai anak2 dia, sgt well behaved, be it kat rumah org, atau rumah sendiri.


Aku tak mau tunggu sampai balqis dah besar, belasan tahun, baru aku nak berenti keje jaga anak. Aku takut by then it’ll be too late.


Ni pasal anak, belum pasal suami lagi. Balik rumah, aku penat. Semua nak attention aku. Sofeya jerit nak nenen, balqis rengek nak aku dgr dia cerita, alih2.. Mr Photographer jugak tersisih. Kesian ok.


Aku nak masak, layan suami aku elok2. Ni nak ambikkan suami air pun, penat, apa lagi nak masak utk dia kan ?


Sebab tu wahai kawan2.. Islam tu dah cukup cantik. Mmg dah diajar, isteri tu tempat nya dirumah, jaga rumahtangga, jaga anak2, jaga kebajikan suami. Suami tu mmg tanggungkawab dia mencari rezeki.


So kita2 ni, para isteri pun sibuk nak cari rezeki. Sudahnya anak2 org lain jaga. Nasib baik la suami tak de org lain jaga hehhehe


Eh dah melalut sgt dah aku ni.


NUMBER TWO
Ni tak lain tak bukan.. sbb aku NYAMPAH nak keje…


And that explains why I keep on changing my jobs every 1-2 yrs. I tell you, 10 yrs aku keje, dah 7 tempat okeh.. TUJUH. SEVEN.


Paling lama was 3 yrs.
Paling kejap was 17 mths, well so far la ngahnagahanahgahag,
Kampeni skang baru 11 mths, let’s see if I can break the record kuikuikui


Well of course, we change jobs for better opportunity (and better money). Tapi aku mesti rasa mcm tak puas bila keje. Ada jer yg tak kena.


Sampai bila la asyik nak tukar keje kan? Lagi tukar keje, lagi tinggi gaji, lagi tinggi responsibility, which translates to lagi busy and kurang la time aku dgn anak2.


Paling aku nyampah keje dgn org, specifically corporates ni pasal I am bound to their rules and regulation. Yg PALING aku nyampah is the kipas and berlakon attitude.


Entah la I think I kenot fit in corporate environment. Sini are full of ppl yg pandai lick ass, yg buat keje kena kecoh bagi sumerang tau, yada yada. Me? Aku tak reti. Aku dpt keje, aku buat diam2. Habis, aku bagitau boss. Dah. Aku mmg lurus bendul.


Which explains why aku tak pernah dpt promotion masa aku kat maybank dulu. There and then i decided, nak tunggu promotion mmg berjanggut tunggu, so i might as well promote myself. Tu yg job hop tak hengat.


Part berlakon pulak lagi aku x tahan. Klu dah tak de keje, tak de urgent deliverables, BALIK la kan?


Ni taaakkkkkkkkk.. klu ofis hour sampai 5.45, some bosses expects you to stay back, at least pun sampai kol 7. Some ppl ada mindset, lagi lama ko dok ofis, the better employee you are.


Ptuihhhhhhhhhh


Ingat aku tak de keje lain? Ingat aku x de anak2 nak ngadap?
Lain la klu ada keje urgent, then i dun mind la nak stay back. Bukan x pernah, dah puas aku berkampung kat ofis kdg2.

Aku tak leh terima lah culture mcm ni. Masa aku keje kat PJ dulu, ada ofismate aku ni (bujang la), everytime aku tanya dia “balik ke?” (masa tu dah kol 6 la kan) and you know what he answered?


Him : Tak lah… I P Ramlee…
Me : huh?? What P Ramlee?
Him : P Ramlee la… berlakon maaa.. balik laambat sbb berlakon rajin maaa


Ehhehhe... see?? Betapa tak produktif nyer org... balik lambat bukan buat keje, tapi berlakon rajin sbb nak please the blardy boss.


Some ppl lagik la.. during ofis hours nko surf la, email la, chat la, ngular la.. pas tu sharp kol 6 dan dan tu rajin buat keje.


Cam tu ke the kind of employee nko nak ?


Aihhh..sudahla merapu pasal keje.. buat aku lagi tensen jer..

Okeh reason NUMBER THREE (or mebbe ini number two kot..)
Aku tak pernah puas hati dgn maid. So far aku pernah ada 2 maid, yg dulu 5 tahun kje dgn aku, since balqis lahir lagi. Then current one dah nak masuk 2 tahun.


Yes, I have to admit their plus point. Both of them mmg jaga anak aku superb. After all mmg itu their primary responsibility.


Yg dulu, jaga anak, keje rumah mmg tip top. Klu appraisal tu, part keje mmg aku kasik significantly exceeded hahahah.. TAPI. Part attitude dia aku tak tahan.. dgn menipunya.. dgn cakap kasar and kuat nya.. hadoiiii.. sakit jiwa ok.


Yg ni plak, keje.. hmm.. aku kasik below average la… mmg tak bley multitask. Klu jaga sofeya, jaga budak tu jer la. Sofeya tido, dia ikut tido. Weekend la baru kemas umah, gosok baju etc. Attitude pun so so lah.. Cuma so far dia tak pernah menipu aku lagik (I think la). Cakap kasar tu mmg tak leh buat apa dah.


Dah 2 maid aku..
2-2 tua bangka (umo 40 lebih).
2-2 cakap kasar mcm diorang boss


I think partly my mistake, pasal aku ni baik sgt. So I guess diorang ni mcm pijak kepala. Ntah la. Dgn maid ni u can never be right la. Ko layan mcm hamba, kang lari. Ko layan mcm family, naik lemak, pijak kepala.


Aku TIAP TIAP hari sakit jiwa ngadap maid aku. Everytime I have to ask her to do something, aku sakit jiwa memikirkan apa respond dia nanti. Mr Photographer said layan jer la.. buat tak tahu jer.


Well klu jumpa maid seminggu sekali aku buleh kot layan jer.. ni day in day out ngadap dia.. aku sakit jiwa tau. Unnecessary stress. But I have to endure, pasal aku pk dia jaga anak aku elok. And that is all important.




There.. valid ke reason aku nak berenti keje?


But then again.. there are also other factors I have to consire IF aku decide to resign, like

1. Aku nak buat apa? I dowan to just sit at home and be a SAHM (stay at home mothers) aku nak jadi WAHM (work at home mothers). Partly becoz I think I still have to contribute to out family punya financial, partly becoz aku rasa I NEED to do something to get my brain working. Klu idak, payah!


2. Can I do it? Aku ni idak ler penyabar sgt orgnyer. Dgn perangai anak2 aku yg buleh tahan ngada, sometimes aku temper jugak. Nasib baik sorang 6 tahun sorang baru 1 tahun. Klu dah besar, konfem kena backhand dah sorang2..hehehe. But then again, saya hanya manusia biasa. Sapa yg tak marah kan bila anak buat perangai. Ada ke org yg masih senyum ceria tatkala anak2 menangis menjerit berguling ditengah2 org ramai? Klu la ada, pls tell me, aku nak ambik personal course on anger mgmt. Tu satu. Then buleh ke aku handle the household ? Nak mengemas, mencuci, memasak etc. Bukan keje senang kan? Tambah pulak if I plan to work from home. Camner la aku nak divide masa?




The thing is now, kenapa suddenly aku dok pk menda ni seriously, is becoz my current maid, dah habis contract next april. The bengong agent, sampai ke sudah tak bagi2 the permit and the passport, keep on giving excuses after excuses. Sudahnyer dia cakap, klu nak sambung, we hv to pay him another RM3 ribu, she has to go back to indon, buat passport / permit baru.



We have the intention to sambung with this current maid (regardless her below average KPI) becoz kitorang pk sofeya kecik lagi. Pasal sofeya ni ada perangai dia yg aku takut org tak tahan nak jaga. Even aku mak sendiri pun kdg2 geram, ni plak org luar kan? Maunyer kena pukul kang anak aku tuh. This maid, sabor jer dgn sofeya no matter how the girl buli maid aku tuh.


But the fact that the maid has to go back, apply baru passport/permit, ntah approve ke tak kan? Berapa lama pun x tahu kan?


Meanwhile sapa nak jaga sofeya?


We were thinking of minta tlg Ayu (maid mak aku) jaga sekejap. BUT (there’s always but eh?) ayu ni tak pernah jaga budak kecik. Aku takut dia tak reti and tak sabo nak jaga sofeya. Mainly, aku takut Ayu ni tak nak jer jaga.



There another option of just getting a new maid. BUT
1. Ntah mcm mana perangai plak kang taktahu..
2. Bukan ke skang dah susah nak ambik maid..



So korang paham ke dilema aku skang ni?


Mr Photographer said (finally) its OK if i want to quit by april nanti, BUT i hv to think of something to do by then. Which means I have about 6 mths..


I am thinking of few alternatives...


So korang.. sila lah memberi buah fikiran anda.. supaya anak2 saya mendapat kasih sayang dari seorg ibu secukupnya..hehhehe


14 comments:

Linda said...

Aku rasa alasan ko nak benti keja dah cukup valid dah ni.

Cuma kat mesia ni kat mana nak cari option keja dari rumah? Despite the fact kita dah ada segala teknologi canggih manggih, bos² nih nak jugekk hadap muka kita kat opis...takleh nak buat hapa dah laa...

liadevega said...

aku dah bg komen panjang lebar kat post hari Jumaat hang tu, tak tau hang baca ke dak...

Konot said...

linda, thank you for your support! and yes.. byk options yg membolehkan hang keje from rumah.. tapi naaaakkk jugak menempek kat ofis.. tak paham aku!

lia.. aku baru baca.. thks for your tips! takut plak la aku nak berenti ni beb!

liadevega said...

the only way to earn an income at home is by doing a business..fikirla what works best for you...

6 bulan tu sempat nak fikir bebetul...

Konot said...

true lia..actually business is the best way to generate income, especially mcm kita ni yg ada more improtant committent i.e anak2.

FBI said...

i totally understand... aku pun dah muak ngan corporate world.. lagi la aku nie yg 10 years with the same co

Cik Puan Kamil said...

Konot, hang kan dok mengajar tuition... buat tu je lah full time. Kalau tak dak bilik kosong dalam rumah, buat macam cikgu tuition adik aku, dia buat kat luaq rumah, kat patio dia... Aku rasa okay apa...

Memang susah kat Mesia ni nak work from home sebab kita masih macam tak caya kat technology. Pastu, kita very Asian mindset. Kat UK and Australia, takdenya nak kerja lewat, boss pun suruh balik... ha ha

Good luck my friend

Konot said...

farah, nko ni bila lagi la nak resign bebeh!

myra, yeah thought of that, but then my priority aku tanak maid (ewah berlagak mcm buleh buat semua keje sorang hehehe). so kalau tak der maid, tak de org nak tlg jaga anak aku time aku ngajar. takkan la nak ngajar sambil dukung anak kan? other than that, tuition is my preference sebenornyer..

Nomee said...

Wow. Panjang berjela entry kali ni. Rasanya reasons untuk nko berenti kerja tu dah cukup kuat. Sempat lagi ni nak pikir buat apa kat rumah. Tapi jgn lah yg bikin kau busy amat. Sama je nanti sibuknya macam nko kerja kat luar rumah.

Aku pun teringin nak nak jadi housewife. Apa kan daya, belum berkemampuan lagi.

Good luck konot.

Amy said...

Konot, aku support decision ko. (aku pun teringin nak duduk rumah tapi takde anak nak jaga plak!) Buat insurance ke? Macam Sandra tu. I think dlm seminggu, Monday je dia kena masuk office..lain2 dia sendiri either kat rumah or kuar2 jumpa client. If ko ada bakat baking macam kak Noresh lagi syiok, tak yah kuar rumah, letak cake kat internet, org dtg collect or ko pegi deliver. But ko bleh je letak kata ko tak buat delivery, sapa nak order mmg kena gi ambik ke.

Konot said...

amy, aku klu buleh nakk dok umah saja2... heheh..bley ke?

liadevega said...

konot,
blog hang ni dah le kena login/passwd bagai nak bukak, dah penat2 aku taip semua tu tgk hang tak update...tension ok!

so, moralnya..sila update selalu..aku takpe, sbb takde passwd...boleh click away je...

Ayu said...

My dearest konot...

From my point of view... as once corporate lady (cheewah..) and currently a housewife ..

1. Kalau nkko dah terasa nak berenti.. go ahead. Despite my previously 'nagging sessions' that jadik housewife nih boooringgg... actually it is kinda fun :P ...i kinda leave out the best parts of being hw sebab aku terlalu fokus on da negativity of it ...:(

2. But the satisfaction of having ur own money tu, mmg takde la... it took me a loooong time to adapt to that..esp if u are the kind of person yang suka beli barang for the sake of buying ..hehe..saja2 nk perabih duit ..kekeke.. (unless mr photographer promise nk kasik hang same amount of wat ur getting now... then tarak hal :P..))

3. But seeing ur children growing in front of u ..is priceless... tho most of the time mmg akan tension jugak dgn perangai depa... for me, i think i was a better mom/less garang mom/more attentive mom if i'm working kot... because i cherish the little time i have with them.. ni bila dah 24 jam dengan diorang ... sometimes i just wish i have hmm.. maybe some time for myself without interuption... but then buat apa nk beranak banyak2 kalau tak sanggup jaga anak eh ..hehe..

3. But dok kat umah tanpa boss ngarah n pressure kerja mmg HEAVEN :) ... BESST ...

4. bnyk lagik aku nk tulis .. tapi dah penat tulis sebelah tangan sambil dukung sarah tidoq nih... my last point..maybe the strongest one untuk stay at home mom... mungkin tak dapat gaji bnyk sekarang.. but 'gaji' akhirat mmg banyak...less dosa lah aku rasa dok umah nih ... untuk aku ... bila aku rasa tension tahap gaban dok umah ni.. i think about that... and it's worth it... (remind aku balik point ni kalau aku balik kang aku kerja balik...hahaha)

Konot said...

ye la ye la lia aku hapdate la ni!!!

and finally ayu!! komen yg paling aku tunggu2 hehehhe

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