18 September 2008

Balqis dah besar..

Lama tak citer pasal Balqis…

Dah besar anak aku sorang nieh.. dah pandai fikir, dah pandai tanya mcm2.. benda yg aku tak terfikir dia akan tanya at her age now.

She kindda know the relationship between mama-daddy-abah. She knows she has 2 fathers and one mother.

One nite, she asked

Balqis: Ma.. klu dah tak nak kawin kan.. nak buat mcm mana?
Me: Kena cakap la, dah tanak kawin, nak kawan2 ajer…

Dia diam kejap.. mcm tgh pk… then sambung lagik tanya soklan paling aku terkejut

Balqis : Dulu masa ma dgn abah dah tak kawin.. ma cakap mcm mana?

Aku plak terkedu diam tgh pk apa nak jawab…

Me: Ma dgn abah cakap la… tak nak kawin dah.. kawan ajer…

Oh My God

I wonder apa lagi dia akan tanya when she is 10, 15 years old nanti.

Recently.. the abah requested to spend overnite with her.

Ikut hati aku yg sayang sgt2 kat balqis nih… aku tak mau kasik. Aku tak mau.. aku tak mau..

Ikut hati.. aku nak bagi balqis kecik balik…so that she will be totally dependent on me. Tak de sapa boleh ambik my baby from me.

Ikut hati.. aku nak pindah jauh2… jauh sgt2.. pi australia ke, canada ke.. so that the abah tak bleh ambik dia dari aku. I will have my baby for myself… forever!

Jahat ke aku pk mcm ni? Am I too possessive?

I kenot live without her.

Tapi like I said… itu semua ikut hati lah…

Aku pk jugak… that the abah has the right to see his daughter. Klu bukan sekarang, sampai bila kan nak belajar overnite and jaga anak sendiri? Sooner or later, kena jugak. If later pun, I will still rasa mcm ni.. overly possessive.

So after much consideration and discussion with Mr Photographer, we agreed to let her sleep over dgn abahnyer this weekend, provided Balqis sendiri yg nak lah…

I asked Balqis if she wants to sleep over kat rumah abah… as expected dia mmg excited nak sgt! Few minutes later she said “eh ma! I changed my mind lah” Aku dlm hati.. “yes… dia tak mo tido umah abah!” Then she said “ I want to sleep over at abah’s house EVERYTIME he pick me up!”

Oh dearrrr.. hati aku retak seribu…. What if lepas ni dia cakap “ I want to stay with abah lahhh”

Then come another soklan cepu mas from the abah.. “raya mcm mana? Tahun ni nak bawak balik raya boleh? Tak pun next year lah saya bawak balik raya..”

I just said “tgk la mcm mana..”

Nak tgk apa konot??

The tought of celebrating raya without her also buat aku nak pitam…

5 comments:

liadevega said...

Ntah kenapa, aku macam paham sesangat perasaan ko...eee...tak bestnya kalau raya anak takde..jgn bg konot, jgn...hehehe..klu aku, forever aku takkan bg..jahat tak?

Konot said...

lia- hang pun sama emo and possessive mcm aku!

Cik Puan Kamil said...

Oh dear... that is a very hard one. Good luck my friend..

Konot said...

shell - eh ok apa... kasut aku lawa apa.. muahahhaa. lawak bodo tgh emo.. kuikuikuii

nomee - jgn nangis.. batal poser!

myra - time kasih... i need lotsa luck!!!

Konot said...

shell - eh ok apa... kasut aku lawa apa.. muahahhaa. lawak bodo tgh emo.. kuikuikuii

nomee - jgn nangis.. batal poser!

myra - time kasih... i need lotsa luck!!!

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