03 March 2008

Back in office.

Thanks for those yg concerned.

I am much better, alhamdulillah no more bleeding. But the rest continues lah.. Still no more house work, no more unnecessary jalan2 etc. All planned trip including kenduri outside Klang Valley rasanya tak dpt nak dtg.. minta maaf awal2 pada yg dah menjemput.

Hari ni onwards me and Mr Photographer naik kereta. Apa nak buat, kena lah keluar rumah awal nak avoid the jam. Luckily my parents are aroud till end of the week, boleh tolong hantar-ambik balqis from tadika till new maid comes this week.

Yes, new maid is coming soon, so no more day care for Balqis this month onwards. Suka lah dia.. paling suka of course mamanyer.. ngengenge.. ok ok, call me mengada, manja, watsoever, I KENOT leave without maid ok…. I thought I can, but it turned out mcm2 plak jadi.. first kaki balqih patah kat day care, and she is not happy there, then aku low blood pressure sbb penat sgt, and now bleeding plak…

So I guess those signs are clear enough kan?

Ye aku ngada timaseyyy…

Well anyway...

On Saturday kan Balqis jumpa abah dia?

Aku mengalamni krisis parenting yg so far I can say the most-est kecik hati I’ve ever had.

U see, Balqis mmg ler excited nak jumpa abah dia. So the nite before, dia dah pilih baju mana nak pakai, suruh letak luar siap2, and suruh aku pack brg2 dia siap2. I told her, pack esok pagi lah.. alahai..pack susu jer pun…

Before dia tidur, she pesan to me to kejut her awal… hmmm…

Then dlm 8.30 pagi camtuh dia celik mata, and u know, dia TERUS DUDUK!! And said to me, “ma… adik dah bangun ni… cepat la pack!”

I told her.. “nanti la.. jom la kita golek2 lagi 5 minit”

U see.. kalau cuti, mmg lepas bangun jer mesti dia minta nak peluk/bergolek2 atas katil lagi 5 minit…

And she said ..”tak yah la.. adik nak jumpa abah ni….” Hmmm… okehhh..

After I finish packing, aku tgk la dlm bilik kot2 apa dia tgh buat. Tgk2… dah siap dlm bilik air dah pun, baju semua siap bukak.. dah get ready nak mandi!!

Again.. ni satu benda yg tak pernah berlaku dlm sejarah hidup dia selama almost 5 yrs, sbb budak ni kalau nak suruh bangun mandi pagi mmg liat ya ampun..

Hmmmmmmmm…

Then another thing…

Lepas siap2 pakai baju, dia sikat rambut sendiri. Normally, aku insist dia sikat kemas2, selit rambut elok2 belakang telinga. But noooo.. she always insist nak sikat rambut biar tutup telinga.. lagi lawa katanya…

But that particular day, dia sikat elok2 belakang telinga. I asked why? She said “nanti abah kata cantik kalau sikat mcm ni”

Logic dak kalau aku kecik hati?

Mmg aku kecik hati sgt2 la… but tak de la cakap or did anything… buat dek jer la.. after all apa hasil kecik hati dgn budak 5 tahun?

Mlm tu dia balik, abahnya belikan basikal baru, plus mcm2 lagi gifts.. as usual. I asked “balqis mintak ke basikal?” He said “ha ah… dia mintak, saya beli lah..”

Now I know lah why la Balqis look forward sgt nak jumpa abahnya everytime. Who doesn’t? Everytime jumpa, bukak jer mulut nak apa, semua dpt. Aku rasa esok2 besar mintak kereta pun dpt kot…

Kalau dgn mommy and daddy, minta apa2, tak semestinya dpt there and then. Myself and Mr Photographer selalu discuss dulu whether we shud or shud not get her whatever that she asked. Murah ke, mahal ke (mahal lagi la pk 10 kali kan heheheh), we will discuss whether or not she needs ke tak, elok ke tak etc.

I guess dgn abah dia.. she is treated mcm PRINCESS… just the way she wanted. Dgn we all, princess, princess la jugak.. but I just want her to understand that we are a family. We are the parents, that we have responsibility towards her. I want her to understand that life as a family bukan mcm fairytale where you will be treated mcm PRINCESS 24/7.

Most importantly I need her to understand yg mommy dgn daddy love her so much, and whatever we do, no matter she likes or doesn’t , is for her own good.

I dowan to generalize, but I’ve seen divorced couples yg similar. If the child tinggal dgn mak, the father will normally manjakan anak with harta benda. Everytime jumpa father, ada jer benda yg dpt, toys ke, duit ke etc.

I guess its challenging, to teach your child that harta benda is not everything. Its challenging, to make your child open up their mind and appeciate many things other than monetary.

Aku doa byk2 kat Allah, bagi aku ketabahan, kesabaran and guidance to go through our parenting journey.

Ni baru sikit, ni baru 5 year sold. Kalau dah 10 y.o, 15 y.o esok2..mcm mana?

I know..Balqis loves me and her daddy so much. We are so happy when we are together.

U know.. my favourite moment with them are after our prayers together, particularly lepas salam2 cium tgn semua. Lepas Balqis cium tgn daddy, mommy plak cium tgn daddy then when she nampak daddy cium forehead mommy mesti dia insist nak peluk 3-3 org sekali… alahaiii.. sweetttt…. syiokkk…

Another moment yg aku tak leh lupa is when we were about to sleep, and Balqis insisted nak tidur with us atas katil sesama.. ok lah.. so daddy slept in the middle. Balqis said “Adik peluk daddy, daddy peluk mummy kay?” okay.. so daddy pun turned the right to peluk me. Then I heard Balqis said “alaaaaaaaaa… tak aci lahhhh…nak peluk jugakkkk!!”

Okay lahhh…

So daddy pun tidur lah terlentang tgh2 katil sambik peluk 2 hot babe nih.. (err.. walaupun sorang babe belum cukup umur, and sorang lagik babe tgh bunting hehehe, tapi I’m pretty sure to him we are the hottest girls around wakakakak)

Apa kena mengena cerita ni dgn cerita kat atas tu ek?

Ntah.. aku pun tatau… just felt like writing watever on my mind. I guess whenever I feel sad, aku kena constantly remind myself that mcm mana pun I have Balqis and Mr Photographer with me..

Ambik nko.. punya la panjang post nih...

6 comments:

Cik Puan Kamil said...

Aku pulak sebak baca cerita hang Konot oii...

Takpelah... Abah si Balqis maybe cuma nak compensate the times he is not around with her... But I understand your concerns....

Konot said...

toksah la sedih myra oiii.. nanti aku teriak lagi payah.. hehe.. and thank you for understanding my concerns!

liadevega said...

Konot,
I had my share of down times too though I don't have an ex-hubby to compete with...bila my daughter start comparing me with my sis-in-law yg lemah-lembut and suka layan/mekap2kan dia ALL the time...while with me is not like that always, etc mama garang, tak bg itu ini...blabla. I did cry and reasoned to her such and such... dunno whether she really get what I mean or not but she never say such hurtful things ever again. Mmglah cabaran jadi ibubapa ni besar, we are not here just to make the child happy all time but to didik her to be a good human being. You are not alone!

Sorry la, aku pun terpanjang and ter-emo plak...

Konot said...

lia - i guess benda2 ni bukan takat ex hubby jer.. but maybe aku ada sikit rasa unsecure of losing balqis kot.. tu pasal fobia lebih2..

Amy said...

Kalau aku cakap aku faham apa ko rasa walaupun aku takde anak lagi, aci ke?
Aku tahu ko concern pasal Balqis, just buat yg terbaik, insyallah everything will be ok.
*Scorpions mmg emo, ngader and manja sket* hehehhe

Konot said...

amy - sbb kita sescorpio.. so apa2 ko cakap pun aci jugak aaa pada aku! heheheh

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