Semalam when I was paying my JPA loan thru M2U, Catherine ternampak. She asked..
Cath : u bayar apa?
Me : my study loan laaa...
Cath : huh? u study got loan meh? why your father didn't pay for you?
Me : where got he pay.. my masters also i pay myself..
She was so damn surprised. We talked about it. We come from two very different background, or to be specific how our parents raised us.
Myself, my parents are not very protective. They gimme 100% freedom. Nak pergi mana, nak buat apa, suka hati. Asalkan bagitahu. Pergi sekolah balik sekolah dulu semua naik bas since darjah 1. In terms of duit, lepas start kerja, jgn ngada nak mintak. Semua tanggung sendiri. (sket2 tu ada lah hehehe) Tapi generally mmg gitu ler..
Cath plak, parents very protective. pergi sekolah balik sekolah berhantar berambik. Nak pergi mana, keluar dgn siapa, semua tak boleh. Sampai sekarang, dah beranak pinak, in terms of financial mak bapak still tanggung.
I said "lucky u lah!!" sambil mengomplen pasal diri sendiri (tak tahu bersyukur) She said " ya loh..." sambil keluar ceramah mingguan dia.. sedikit sebyk seperti dibawah..
"From your perspective, it's how u look at things lohh... your father like that, then u must learn how to be independent. Look at you now, very independent.. if I aaahh.. be like you single parent, I mati wohhh.. I dunno what to do, how to survive. In a way.. your father's style is good for you. And as a parent, it's how you wanna bring up your child. Like your father, u can see he wants you to be independent. Dats why even he can afford, he will let you tanggung your expenses yourself. Everything also you do yourself. Like me, until now also my parents do for me. Like us now, have kid, we are very protective. I wonder how your father have the strength to raise you like he did. Like u also I can see you quite protective one.. everything u do for your daughter, but thinklah..maybe u can learn from you father's style, let your child grow to be independent like you."
Gitu ler sedikit sebyk..
Mmg betul.. dah lama tahu.. dah ramai org cakap..tapi saya ni manusia biasa yg selalu lupa diri :) Nasib baik la ada kawan2 sekeliling yg selalu mengingatkan.
I wonder.. challenging jugak ek nak jadi parent yg bagus ni?
4 comments:
Masa aku keja Exact dulu... colleagues aku semua Cina and I can see the different culture that they have. Ni talking about the good ones aje la...about money for child's education..they will never harap pada bantuan kerajaan. Anak petani pun boleh pi Ostolia buat A-level and degree- 100% duit mak bapak dia...rumah buruk gila takpe, tapi anak2 mesti belajar bagus. Itulah mentaliti mereka yg I think we shud learn. Kena simpan duit banyak2 ni...
exactly la lia!! aku pun nampak cam gitu. We shud do that also. Tak yah nak harap bantuan mana2. Kalua ada, then bonus lah. Kalau tak ada, at least kita dah prepare sendiri.
my abah used to work with chinese before. so dia dah terbiasa dgn culture suka simpan duit. kami adik beradik from tadika to university tak pernah satu sen pun pakai duit ptptn or any education loan. duit loan abah kata simpan. abah punya prinsip, adalah tanggungjawab dia utk besarkan, sekolahkan and kawinkan anak2 dia. dan bila anak dia dah kawin, tak pernah sekali pun abah mintak duit kami adik beradik. pada saya, abah saya adalah abah terbaik yg pernah saya jumpa. saya akan mencontohi sikap abah saya bila saya ada anak nanti.
flower & bee.. simpan duit ni mmg penting..tak kira la cina ke melayu ke.. cuma kdg2 some ppl tu kesedaran dia kurang sikit. I'm glad your father taught you well, boleh kita ajar anak2 plak utk menyimpan dari kecik!
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