Now the story

Yesterday evening went to my parents place, and finally i get to know the whole story..


Anyway since we were there.. i brought the kids jalan2 the apartment area.. nak jumpa their friends.. and we lalu lah kat this kedai (like mini kedai runcit at the club house). and the owner (our neighbor jugak) tegur la the kids.. rindu kan.. lama tak jumpa budak2 comel ni.. and the lady said "ha... hari tu came here.. crying... "


i was like.. "haa.. she cam here ke auntie? alone ke? aiyooo. the maid was sleeping la auntie!"


and then she story la.... and few more story added by my neighbors (and some added by my instinct).. something like this..


balqis panggil kak ayu.. few times, no answer.. so naturally she cried... then jiran sebelah ( i think) nampak dia nangis..and also the guard saw her.. so the neighbor gave her money, the guard brought her to the kedai, telling the auntie that no one is at home, and my poor baby is all alone.


then the auntie told the guard.. maid ada kat dalam.. must be sleeping or something, and asked the guard to knock the door sampai the maid bukak. but before that, the untie let balqis buy any drink that she wants (using the money that my neighbor kasik).


so there...


i am so grateful to have such lovely neighbors..


NASIB BAIK ada jiran baik, auntie kedai yg baik and guard yg baik.


cuba korang imagine klu org yg jahat cemaner? nauzubillah.. just the thought pun aku dah rasa nak pitam...


i get frustrated somehow coz some people did not take this issue seriously.. boleh gelak2 jer bila aku cerita. fine.. aku tak mo bukak dah citer ni...


we have our own precautions now.


mmg susah bila harap org jaga anak kita. tak kira la siapa pun org tu.

then this morning i saw in astro awani (ke oasis) dok debate pasal giving 1 day off to the maids. then they discussed about nowadays makin hari makin ramai female professionals resign sebab nak duduk rumah jaga anak. and they also said that this is truely a lost to the country..

IS IT?

is it really a lost bila org pompuan resign and jadik housewife?

or is it the other way around?

i believe in getting back to basic lah senang citer. Islam, dah bagi guideline, dah allocate responsibility to us. Husband / Father - kuar cari rezeki. Wife / Mother, dirumah jaga anak and rumahtangga. Mmg Islam tak melarang pompuan kuar bekerja jika diizinkan suami utk meringankan beban rumahtangga, tapi jgn lah sampai the main responsibility tu jadik dekat pompuan and terabai anak2 & rumahtangga plak kan?

That's why, aku rasa, its not merugikan country bila pompuan resign and jaga anak. In fact, its a long term investment to the country. I dont think it is such an easy job to didik anak2. I have seen few families yang mana bila mak diorang mmg duduk rumah (either fully housewife or work from home), anak2 mmg akan terdidik dgn elok.

Ini, bila kita depend kat external party nak jaga anak2, mula lah mcm2 cerita, and we have no one to blame except diri kita sendiri.. :(

Back in office.

Thanks for those yg concerned.

I am much better, alhamdulillah no more bleeding. But the rest continues lah.. Still no more house work, no more unnecessary jalan2 etc. All planned trip including kenduri outside Klang Valley rasanya tak dpt nak dtg.. minta maaf awal2 pada yg dah menjemput.

Hari ni onwards me and Mr Photographer naik kereta. Apa nak buat, kena lah keluar rumah awal nak avoid the jam. Luckily my parents are aroud till end of the week, boleh tolong hantar-ambik balqis from tadika till new maid comes this week.

Yes, new maid is coming soon, so no more day care for Balqis this month onwards. Suka lah dia.. paling suka of course mamanyer.. ngengenge.. ok ok, call me mengada, manja, watsoever, I KENOT leave without maid ok…. I thought I can, but it turned out mcm2 plak jadi.. first kaki balqih patah kat day care, and she is not happy there, then aku low blood pressure sbb penat sgt, and now bleeding plak…

So I guess those signs are clear enough kan?

Ye aku ngada timaseyyy…

Well anyway...

On Saturday kan Balqis jumpa abah dia?

Aku mengalamni krisis parenting yg so far I can say the most-est kecik hati I’ve ever had.

U see, Balqis mmg ler excited nak jumpa abah dia. So the nite before, dia dah pilih baju mana nak pakai, suruh letak luar siap2, and suruh aku pack brg2 dia siap2. I told her, pack esok pagi lah.. alahai..pack susu jer pun…

Before dia tidur, she pesan to me to kejut her awal… hmmm…

Then dlm 8.30 pagi camtuh dia celik mata, and u know, dia TERUS DUDUK!! And said to me, “ma… adik dah bangun ni… cepat la pack!”

I told her.. “nanti la.. jom la kita golek2 lagi 5 minit”

U see.. kalau cuti, mmg lepas bangun jer mesti dia minta nak peluk/bergolek2 atas katil lagi 5 minit…

And she said ..”tak yah la.. adik nak jumpa abah ni….” Hmmm… okehhh..

After I finish packing, aku tgk la dlm bilik kot2 apa dia tgh buat. Tgk2… dah siap dlm bilik air dah pun, baju semua siap bukak.. dah get ready nak mandi!!

Again.. ni satu benda yg tak pernah berlaku dlm sejarah hidup dia selama almost 5 yrs, sbb budak ni kalau nak suruh bangun mandi pagi mmg liat ya ampun..

Hmmmmmmmm…

Then another thing…

Lepas siap2 pakai baju, dia sikat rambut sendiri. Normally, aku insist dia sikat kemas2, selit rambut elok2 belakang telinga. But noooo.. she always insist nak sikat rambut biar tutup telinga.. lagi lawa katanya…

But that particular day, dia sikat elok2 belakang telinga. I asked why? She said “nanti abah kata cantik kalau sikat mcm ni”

Logic dak kalau aku kecik hati?

Mmg aku kecik hati sgt2 la… but tak de la cakap or did anything… buat dek jer la.. after all apa hasil kecik hati dgn budak 5 tahun?

Mlm tu dia balik, abahnya belikan basikal baru, plus mcm2 lagi gifts.. as usual. I asked “balqis mintak ke basikal?” He said “ha ah… dia mintak, saya beli lah..”

Now I know lah why la Balqis look forward sgt nak jumpa abahnya everytime. Who doesn’t? Everytime jumpa, bukak jer mulut nak apa, semua dpt. Aku rasa esok2 besar mintak kereta pun dpt kot…

Kalau dgn mommy and daddy, minta apa2, tak semestinya dpt there and then. Myself and Mr Photographer selalu discuss dulu whether we shud or shud not get her whatever that she asked. Murah ke, mahal ke (mahal lagi la pk 10 kali kan heheheh), we will discuss whether or not she needs ke tak, elok ke tak etc.

I guess dgn abah dia.. she is treated mcm PRINCESS… just the way she wanted. Dgn we all, princess, princess la jugak.. but I just want her to understand that we are a family. We are the parents, that we have responsibility towards her. I want her to understand that life as a family bukan mcm fairytale where you will be treated mcm PRINCESS 24/7.

Most importantly I need her to understand yg mommy dgn daddy love her so much, and whatever we do, no matter she likes or doesn’t , is for her own good.

I dowan to generalize, but I’ve seen divorced couples yg similar. If the child tinggal dgn mak, the father will normally manjakan anak with harta benda. Everytime jumpa father, ada jer benda yg dpt, toys ke, duit ke etc.

I guess its challenging, to teach your child that harta benda is not everything. Its challenging, to make your child open up their mind and appeciate many things other than monetary.

Aku doa byk2 kat Allah, bagi aku ketabahan, kesabaran and guidance to go through our parenting journey.

Ni baru sikit, ni baru 5 year sold. Kalau dah 10 y.o, 15 y.o esok2..mcm mana?

I know..Balqis loves me and her daddy so much. We are so happy when we are together.

U know.. my favourite moment with them are after our prayers together, particularly lepas salam2 cium tgn semua. Lepas Balqis cium tgn daddy, mommy plak cium tgn daddy then when she nampak daddy cium forehead mommy mesti dia insist nak peluk 3-3 org sekali… alahaiii.. sweetttt…. syiokkk…

Another moment yg aku tak leh lupa is when we were about to sleep, and Balqis insisted nak tidur with us atas katil sesama.. ok lah.. so daddy slept in the middle. Balqis said “Adik peluk daddy, daddy peluk mummy kay?” okay.. so daddy pun turned the right to peluk me. Then I heard Balqis said “alaaaaaaaaa… tak aci lahhhh…nak peluk jugakkkk!!”

Okay lahhh…

So daddy pun tidur lah terlentang tgh2 katil sambik peluk 2 hot babe nih.. (err.. walaupun sorang babe belum cukup umur, and sorang lagik babe tgh bunting hehehe, tapi I’m pretty sure to him we are the hottest girls around wakakakak)

Apa kena mengena cerita ni dgn cerita kat atas tu ek?

Ntah.. aku pun tatau… just felt like writing watever on my mind. I guess whenever I feel sad, aku kena constantly remind myself that mcm mana pun I have Balqis and Mr Photographer with me..

Ambik nko.. punya la panjang post nih...

Bringing up your child

Semalam when I was paying my JPA loan thru M2U, Catherine ternampak. She asked..

Cath : u bayar apa?
Me : my study loan laaa...
Cath : huh? u study got loan meh? why your father didn't pay for you?
Me : where got he pay.. my masters also i pay myself..

She was so damn surprised. We talked about it. We come from two very different background, or to be specific how our parents raised us.

Myself, my parents are not very protective. They gimme 100% freedom. Nak pergi mana, nak buat apa, suka hati. Asalkan bagitahu. Pergi sekolah balik sekolah dulu semua naik bas since darjah 1. In terms of duit, lepas start kerja, jgn ngada nak mintak. Semua tanggung sendiri. (sket2 tu ada lah hehehe) Tapi generally mmg gitu ler..

Cath plak, parents very protective. pergi sekolah balik sekolah berhantar berambik. Nak pergi mana, keluar dgn siapa, semua tak boleh. Sampai sekarang, dah beranak pinak, in terms of financial mak bapak still tanggung.

I said "lucky u lah!!" sambil mengomplen pasal diri sendiri (tak tahu bersyukur) She said " ya loh..." sambil keluar ceramah mingguan dia.. sedikit sebyk seperti dibawah..

"From your perspective, it's how u look at things lohh... your father like that, then u must learn how to be independent. Look at you now, very independent.. if I aaahh.. be like you single parent, I mati wohhh.. I dunno what to do, how to survive. In a way.. your father's style is good for you. And as a parent, it's how you wanna bring up your child. Like your father, u can see he wants you to be independent. Dats why even he can afford, he will let you tanggung your expenses yourself. Everything also you do yourself. Like me, until now also my parents do for me. Like us now, have kid, we are very protective. I wonder how your father have the strength to raise you like he did. Like u also I can see you quite protective one.. everything u do for your daughter, but thinklah..maybe u can learn from you father's style, let your child grow to be independent like you."

Gitu ler sedikit sebyk..

Mmg betul.. dah lama tahu.. dah ramai org cakap..tapi saya ni manusia biasa yg selalu lupa diri :) Nasib baik la ada kawan2 sekeliling yg selalu mengingatkan.

I wonder.. challenging jugak ek nak jadi parent yg bagus ni?