I miss my abah

Lately Balqis rindu sgt dgn abahnya. Almost everyday minta call. The mother pun being a very super duper sporting and nice and cool mummy, kasik la Balqis call and cakap dgn abahnya. Almost everyday Balqis will ask, "bila abah nak ambik adik ni?" "i miss my abah" "adik nak pergi jusco dgn abah" (ye ye.. jusco mmg her feveret place, aku rasa kena sewa satu kedai kat jusco as our second house :))

This Saturday her abah will pick her up. Agaknya dah tak sabar2, tu yg lately dok tanya abah manjang. Again, me being super cool mummy, layan jer la..

This morning, bangun2 jer, Balqis said "Adik nak abah!" hmm.. super cool mummy dah terasa sikit, pasal pagi2 normally she will say "nak mama peluk!" mcm mana pun, aku maintain cool, i just said "nanti abah dtg ye?"

Few moments later, tiba2 she said "Adik happy kalau keluar dgn abah" hmmmmmmmm.. super cool mummy now dah terasa tahap lima belas, tapi muka maintain senyum. Dlm hati, dah mcm2 nak terkeluar.. adik tak happy dgn mama ke? adik sayang mama ke abah? hahahaha.. childish nyer aku.. i know.. i know..

Tapi dlm hati jer la.. hati ku yg childish lagi immature kdg2. Nasib baik ada otakku yg boleh pikiaq rational dan kdg2 mature ini.. heheh.. kdg2 la..

So dgn muka senyum and terkedu tak tau nak kata apa.. i just kept staring at her, tgk muka yg comel, bau asam bangun pagi, mata bulat, pipi tembam.

Entah mcm mana.. I think Balqis can sense what is going on in my mind, my heart. Suddenly she said.. "Tapi kan ma, adik happy dgn mama, adik happy bila pergi jusco dgn mama"

Pandai budak ni ambik hati ek? I just said "okay sayang" and we exchanged "i love u"s and hugs and kisses.

I love Balqis, and I want her to be happy. Yes, I want to keep her to myself. Aku tak nak share dgn siapa2. Not her abah, not anyone else. But face the reality lah. Ni bukan anak patung teddy bear dpt happy meal tuh, ni Balqis lah. Anak mama yg pandai, dah besar, boleh fikir sendiri. If being with her abah, jumpa abah selalu can make Balqis happy, then I'm willing to let her go.

Type ni pun aku nak nangis. Everynite aku tido peluk dia, bau asam dia. Pagi bangun mesti peluk, bau asam again. Kenot imagine one night I sleep alone without all that. How? huhuhuhuhuuhuh